i hate suprises to...

you never know if thyll be a good surprise or a bad surprise and i dont like leaving it to other people for my to find out...

lol

wb

xx

You will be 18, right? If you are planning on being on your own anytime in the next couple of years, I would ask for stuff for that. The Christmas before I turned 18, I asked for stuff to go in my "Hope Chest" although, I never did store any of the stuff there. My hope chest was falling apart.

Anyway... I ended up getting towels, pots and pans, dish sets with glasses and silverwear, and some other stuff like that. It was great. I moved out the next summer and I had some stuff to get me started. It came in handy.

If you aren't planning on moving out anytime soon... then are there any books that you want? If you read you could ask for gift cards to a book store or music store for CD's.

Clothes are great, if you need clothes, you could ask for gift cards to a favorite clothing store. I am always in dire need of new clothes. Because I never buy them for myself.

Good luck! I hope we come up with some stuff that you want!  

i'll always be here. i've been a faithful member since 2002.[i started my diary when i was 12]. i've just mass delete every entry i had several times. i wanted to try to forget things. since that obviously doesn't work i should have just left all the entries.

hope you're doing alright. know you're not alone in a lot of what you're feeling.

<3 Juli

IM SORRY THAT YOU ARE SO YOUNG AND YOU HAVE PROBLEMS LIKE THAT. I REALLY DOES SUCK. I CANT TALK FROM EXPERIENCE, BUT IF YOU EVEN NEED ANYONE TO TALK, LET ME KNOW...  

oh my gosh...im soo srry for your lost. dun't feel too bad about it ok? know that he's in a better place, up there, in GOd's hand, free from all sufferings. God bless.

Shannon (:

thank you honey. i know you understand. thanks for being so supportive.

congrats on getting baptized. i'm proud of you!

i got baptized when i was 4, but of course i backslid, so i got rebaptized when i got re-saved when i had just turned 16. then of course i screwed up again, and decided, well since i really do want to start everything over again i got re saved and rebaptized this past year. jason got baptized as well. it was his first time. i figured the bible said do your first works over, so it wouldn't hurt for me to do it that many times, lol.

it looks like you had a lot of fun congrats on being baptised I was when I was like 6 lolwhat was the camp called?

know this is touchy i'm just curious, did you have to deliver her? or did they do a d&c?

i know how hard my miscarriages have been, and i've never made it past 11w6days. and i know how hard it was when my brother's son died. i'm sorry you lost julia honey. remember she's in heaven now[playing with my babies]. that's always my motivation to stay some what good, got to see my children one day:)

you're in my prayers.

ily-Juli

It sucks being in pain and the doctors dont know why.  I must have seen at least 6 or 7 different doctors.  I see my reg dr again on Monday so hopefully we can come up with some idea.

I'm sorry to hear you've had a tough time. When I have a time time to deal with or to remember, I just be thankful that it made me who I am today.

i'm an inch taller then you and as of 2 weeks ago 5lbs more. [not sure now, bad teeth, having a hard time with solid foods,lol].  you don't look bad. [did you gain the weight while pregnant? i did that in 06, and after i lost the baby i seemed to only gain. it took me forever to lose weight.]

wow amy you

you're growing up. it seems like such a short time ago that you were turning 17. now you're almost an adult. time really goes by quickly. maybe randy will make more of an effort when you turn 18 and can tell your family to f*** off. lol.

love ya hun-Juli

Hey! Good to hear from you! I hope you're doing well! You're a pretty girl! I like the pics!

Take Care.

you are gorgeous! i love your eyes.

if for some reason you're in wisconsin ever, like, on july 9-13, you should definitely go to lifest. it's this huuuuge christian music festival and they have some amazing speakers. it's awesome! i'm going!

your yard looks so cool, i wish i had a big pretty yard! luckily i live near to a big pretty park.

i think it's really cool that you have foster siblings, i've always wanted my parents to do that but they say i'm a handful, so...=[

your picture from easter is really cute!

¢¾¢¾¢¾

hey... whats up???

heard u had some things going on??

drummerzone <3

Good to hear that things are going well for you.

You seem to be so level-headed, and well written. That's awesome, considering all you've been through. Seems to have really made you stronger.

I think it's cool that the state will pay $600 toward car insurance. That's great. It makes sense. If you can get a car and insurance, you will be more able to work a job, and if you're working, you're paying taxes and being a more productive citizen. I'm always glad to hear about a government funded program that makes sense. So much of it doesn't.

Take Care.

Yeah we are having a fun time at my house tonight.! I got some things at the mall too.!

I'm glad things are looking up for you.! Your new house seems really kool.!

How long ago did you run away?

I'm glad you had this ?reunion? with your family. nothing compares to family, they will always be there for us

I know you heard this before and I am sure you are tired of hearing it, but you really need to take care of yourself. Its not just you to worry about anymore. That baby completely depends on you right now and always. Be careful.

Ashley

 Glad to read that you are happy!

 Happy Anniversary!

I am glad to see that you are ok.

Ashley 

Jewel is the coolest gurl up here.  Shes helped meee soo much!

And i used to cut.  But i stopped.

I hope you will too.

Do you love:

junk
[x] chips
[x] fast food
[x] soda
[x] candy
[x] popcorn with butter
[x] pretzels
[] corn
[] daikon

total:6

fruit-
[x] oranges
[x] strawberries
[x] apples
[x] bananas
[] pineapple
[] pears
[x] peaches
[x] grapes
[x] plums
[] grapefruit
[x] clementines
[x] tangerines
[x] raspberries
[x] blueberries
[x] limes
[x] lemons
[x] mangos
[x] cherries
[x] watermelon
[x] cantalope
[x] honeydew

total:23

meat-
[x] ham
[x] chicken
[] lamb
[x] pork
[x] steak
[x] turkey
[] bologna
[] fish
[x] deer
[] bird
[x] salami
[x] pepperoni
[] alligator

total:31

dairy-
[x]milk
[x] cheese
[x] yogurt
[x] cream
[x] butter
[x] eggs

total:37

desserts-
[] brownies
[x] ice cream
[] chocolate
[] sorbet
[] sherbet
[] cake
[] cup cakes
[]cookies
[x] toffee
[x] caramel
[] mousse
[x] whipped cream
[x]chocolatecovered strawberries
[x] pie
[] creme puffs
[x] jello
[] chocolate covered pretzels

total:44

Carbs-
[x] bread
[x] pasta
[x] cereal
[x] bagels
[x] doughnuts
[x] crackers

total:49

Now add up the number of x's and multiply by 3 to get the weight that you should be.
Repost this as i should weigh_______ lbs

147 pounds!!!!!!!!!

>faints<

Man i wiegh 104

and im still trying to lose wieght

[Manuela]

Oh my gosh!!  That's freaking insane.  I'm glad you didn't punch her when she had the baby though.  That would have sucked.  Sounds like that girl soooo had it coming.  I'm glad you are ok and everything.

It sounds like you have had a time now. I am glad to see that you are ok though.

Ashley

I am glad to see that you are ok.

Ashley

Oh my goodness...What happened?

Ashley

if you find any more like that i could always you a laugh,lol....

-Juli

Well I'm curious to find out what's going on with you.

Man, I still love that diary.  It's amazing.

lmao. again you made my day. i got the biggest kick out of that. it was even funnier because everyone was arguing with her, which is what she wanted, attention, and she got it,lol. i figure after the first 10 people posted she's fake they should have just enjoyed the good laugh,lol....

-Juli

I think that diary was the greatest thing I'd ever seen in my life.

Thank you so much for sharing.

That is funny about the old wives tales. I actually tried some of them before we found out the sex of the baby. They all said that I was having a girl. They were right for me.

Ashley

haha funny song!!

LJ 4 Pres!

Hahahahahahaha oh Amy.

That was great.

LMAO, I NEEDED THAT LAUGH...

thanks-Juli

I haven't been high for a while now. Sounds like you are having some fun! ^_^

I never seen that commercial.

-erika

  Thank YOU for the note! I'm glad that you two will be going out tomorrow night...that will give your something good to look forward to.

   I think it's so wonderful that he was able to overcome cutting. He must be a very strong person.  I'm glad that he is there to support you in doing the same. YAY Him!

 It sounds like he cares for you very deeply. 

   I hope that your night is filled with Blessings!,

           Jewel

YAY YAY YAY!  I'm sooooo glad that you two got things worked out, that she was lieing...that he is supporting you in giving up cutting! 

 I left you a comment last entry. 

   You are very welcome- anytime! 

   I feel as though I have made a new friend today...That is such a blessing!  Thank YOU for blessing my day!

    Your Friend,

        Jewel

  Thanks for teaching me how to do that!

   I'm sorry to read that your family is not being supportive..that makes things sooooo hard. 

   Sorry that you don't feel that a P-doc (Psychiatrist) and meds can help...But I respect your decision.  I just want you to feel better.

 I still have times when the depression comes over me...Just about a week ago- it came every afternoon.  But it's no where as bad as it was before meds.

  I'm so glad that you and Randy got things straightened out...You really don't need anymore stress. You need Love and Support to get well.

  Have a blessed afternoon and night...Any big plans? 

    Wanting the very best for you!,

              Jewel

You're very welcome! I'm just glad that you are here to write to. YAY For that!

   It's understandable that your emotions would be all over the place...Your body and brain have been through a trauma.  You'll start feeling some better day by day. 

  Is your family being supportive? I hope so.

   Are you planning to keep your visit with the Psychiatrist? I see one and a therapist. 

 Have you felt suicidal in the past? Before meds, I felt that way nearly everyday.  

 There is HOPE...Things CAN and WILL get better! 

 Is Randy being supportive?

   How is your day so far today?

   Sending some hugs your way,

          Jewel

  You do deserve better...that's the depression telling you that you don't...it makes us think all kinds of negative things about ourselves and life.  It colors our perceptions and makes us be too hard on ourselves..Don't fall for the lies.  You are a precious Gift to this world and your loved ones. 

 I can tell by your comments that you have a kind spirit.

   I'm sorry that you felt so much pain that you felt the need to cut. 

   You are going through so much at this time...Your body is trying to recover.  Your emotions may be all over the place.

  My suicide attempts were years ago...Today, it's hard to imagine that I ever did that...I so love life now...But I was in so much pain then.

   I'm here and I care what happens to you!,

               Jewel

  Thank YOU for your note ...thank You for sharing with me. 

   I can't remember if I told you...But i have bipolar disorder and have had two suicide attempts int he past...Depression is such a painful and hellish state. 

   I was against taking med too at first..to be honest for years...and the truth is that I kept trying other things and kept suffering.  Meds have helped me so much...They have taken away ALL suicidal thoughts...I'm just grateful to be alive!

   I do hope that you keep your appointment. YOU DESERVE to feel better and to not have to battle the illness alone. 

 If you ever need someone to write to who understands -let me know and I will give you my email address.

   You are in my thoughts,

         Jewel

  You are welcome for the comment.  It does sound like you are suffering from depression...I understand it all too well...It is a very painful illness.  I have bipolar disorder and have to take medications...they help so very much.

  Did they set you up with a follow up appointment with a doctor or Psychiatrist?

   I hope that if you ever get in that state again that you will reach out to me or someone else who cares about you.

   And yes I do care...I know how painful and lonely depression can be.

   Update soon and let us know how you are today.

    Wishing you the best,

        Jewel

 I am just glad to know you are ok. That is all that matters.

Ashley

  I'm glad that you are out of the hospital...I pray that you won't do that again. There are people here who care about you..I did the same crazy thing once...I have bipolar disorder and have to take medications...Are you suffering from depression?

   Wishing you a blessed Night,

           Jewel

I'm just really really glad that you are okay and alive.  You are lucky someone found you!

You and Randy are almost over?  That's so sad...

omg amy get better!

*hugs*Juli

OMG!!!  Please give her my best wishes!!!

I would care if you didn't make it through the summer, night, year, whatever.  I would be really freaking sad.

I like that poem...though it's so depressing.

He you know that I care what happens to you. I love knowing what is going on with you and I love trying to help you out.

Ashley

awwww hunnn! i careee! i hope that your feeling better about this and i pray that you find strength during this difficult time!

heartsss bff!

Thanks, and good luck :)

<333

Do you love:

junk
[] chips
[] fast food
[x] soda
[] candy
[] popcorn with butter
[x] pretzels
[] corn
[] daikon

total:2

fruit-
[x] oranges
[x] strawberries
[x] apples
[x] bananas
[x] pineapple
[x] pears
[x] peaches
[x] grapes
[] plums
[] grapefruit
[?] clementines
[] tangerines
[x] raspberries
[x] blueberries
[] limes
[] lemons
[x] mangos
[x] cherries
[x] watermelon
[x] cantalope
[x] honeydew

total:15

meat-
[x] ham
[] chicken
[] lamb
[x] pork
[x] steak
[x] turkey
[] bologna
[] fish
[x] deer
[] bird
[x] salami
[x] pepperoni
[] alligator

total:7

dairy-
[]milk
[x] cheese
[x] yogurt
[] cream
[] butter
[x] eggs

total:3

desserts-
[] brownies
[x] ice cream
[x] chocolate
[] sorbet
[x] sherbet
[] cake
[x] cup cakes
[]cookies
[] toffee
[] caramel
[] mousse
[] whipped cream
[x]chocolatecovered strawberries
[x] pie
[] creme puffs
[] jello
[x] chocolate covered pretzels

total:7

Carbs-
[x] bread
[x] pasta
[] cereal
[] bagels
[] doughnuts
[x] crackers

total:3

i should weigh 111 pounds man i eat 2 much fruit...

actully in real life i weigh like 70-80lol

here dont be so hard on ur self i kno its not good advice but try takin sum ecstacy r cocaine..loose loadsa weight on that

60 pounds is below normal weight.

No one can survive at 60 lbs. unless they are dwarfs or little kids.

I have a little tummy on me.

Its unhealthy to be to heavy or to light but healthy to be just right.

No one has to be perfect.

Food deso affect how you feel and look.

I know how much you want to feel light and energentic.

I felt that way when I was 14. I am 21 taller and heavier.

Some weight is a normal part of body growth.

-PURESHEILD

I used to feel a lot like that. I feel kind of silly saying "oh, I used to be" when I'm about 2 years younger than you. Makes me sound vair twatty XD

But only a few months ago I hated everything about myself. I knew that somewhere inside there was a nice person trying to get out and all and I was just stuck in this feeling of hating myself. I felt annoying, I felt ugly and I felt too skinny. I put on a bit of weight/bit of make up and forced myself to see the good things in life. It sucked, tbh, bu then I was thinking "I don't even want to be happy". But I'm great now. Plus or minus the odd mood swing.

<33